Take care of your heart.

There are many things that can contribute to a heart attack. Cholesterol, smoking, drinking, poor diet etc. etc.

I bet you don't know what the second biggest contributor to heart disease is in the UK, though.

Mobile phone shops

You need a new phone. In you pop to your local mobile dealership, only to be met at the door by a faux American scrotum called Jax. Jax asks your name & what part of Ireland you are from. The reply is polite, if said through gritted teeth "Colin and Paisley". Jax then goes on to call you by your first name (all too familiarly) for the next excruciating 20 minutes. He then attempts to sell you the latest I-Phone because you "Literally are connected to everything, wherever you are." However, unknown to Jax, you have already decided to get a Blackberry Storm because that's free to upgrade to and the monthly payment is half that of an I-Phone. Much wrangling will follow with Jax whereupon he makes up some stats and finally, desperately tells you it has a built in spirit level and compass. This is around the time your chest starts to tighten. "That's not right" you think to yourself. "Must've been that Pepperami I had at lunchtime." So, Jax has given up the ghost on the I-Phone. Nae commission on that bad boy. Still, a sale's a sale, so he presses on with the Blackberry. Jax knows that the sale is in the bag, you've confirmed it's what you want. "What else can I sell him?" thinks Jax, not one to be beaten easily. "Have you considered insurance, Colin?" - "No and I wouldn't, thanks." you reply politely. "Can I ask, Colin, why you WOULDN'T insure a phone that is worth £400?!" he quizzes in disbelief at your unbelievable lack of intelligence. Just at that point, a shooting pain goes through your left arm. "That's not right" you think "Must've slept funny on it last night." Anyway, "1) Because it's not worth £400 and 2) You're giving it to me for free, mate" you reply, slightly less politely. "But...", "But nothing, mate. Just gonnae go and get it?" should be the final discussion point. But naw, we've still to go through text bundles, internet access, minutes, friends & family, bluetooth headsets, WIFI connection, a case and ... WALLOP. Cardiac arrest. Sitting in Carphone Warehouse in the 'W' position waiting for the paramedics. It's that easy, folks. Don't let it happen to you.

Oh, the biggest contributor to heart disease? - Robbie Williams.